Shattered Light
by Junsui
Summary: “Hermione, I just don’t know... he isn’t the same.” ... “I think you would be better for him...for Harry.”
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I'm sure this will come as a shock to no one...but I don't own Harry Potter in any way, shape, or form. This disclaimer will cover the whole story, all chapters.**

**Note: _italics are Hermione's thoughts._**

**Chapter One**

"Hermione, I just don't know...he isn't the same."

_Of course he isn't the same..._Hermione thought to herself, her forehead resting on the metal bedframe. Ginny had asked Hermione to come to her room because she needed to talk about something. That something ended up being Ginny's relationship with Harry.

Ginny whispered, "He scares me now. He's always so dark. Ever since Ron died..."

_It isn't just because of Ron. _Harry was no stranger to losing the people closest to him. The things that had happened; the things he had seen...he just couldn't come clean with Ginny on that level. Harry wanted to keep Ginny untainted and separate from that, but he couldn't see that his need for that was driving Ginny away.

Ginny didn't want to be a princess on a pedestal. Ginny had stayed out of the war like Harry had asked, but she didn't want to be kept out of the loop forever. She couldn't stand to stay so close to darkness; she needed the light. Harry had become a stranger to Ginny. He wasn't the same person that she had loyally and patiently waited for...for him to notice her...for him to come back...for them to finally be together forever.

Hermione had suspected something like this would be coming for a long time. Ginny had finally realized that she had a choice to make. She had to choose between what would make her happy or learn to be happy with what made Harry happy. _What am I going to do? Harry is already on the downward spiral..._

Finally, Ginny said, "I think you would be better for him...for Harry."

Hermione's head snapped up, and she spoke for the first time in their conversation, "Me? Ginny, I loved Ron. I loved your brother."

"Ron wouldn't want you to be lonely."

_But Ron was always the jealous sort...I loved him anyway._ "I have Harry," she said lightly.

Ginny's eyes flashed briefly with...anger? Jealousy? "That's exactly what I mean. You have Harry, and Harry has you. You both tell each other your dark little secrets. Me? I'm..." Ginny stopped and took a deep breath. Bluntly she stated, "I've met someone at work."

Hermione stared at her in amazement. She had known Ginny was frustrated, but she never thought...

"It's not like that," Ginny said defensively. She stared out of her window. "He makes me laugh. I feel warm when I'm with him. I love Harry, but lately, when I'm with him..." her voice dropped to a whisper, "I feel so cold." She was silent a moment more and then continued in her normal voice, calmly, as if she were discussing the weather and not her and Harry's future. "When he kisses me, I feel like I'm drowning...like he expects me to save him..."

_In a way, he does. _Hermione thought, but felt it would be unwise to share that with Ginny at this point.

Ginny turned to stare at Hermione, unmasked pain in her eyes. "I just don't know how much longer I can take it, Hermione. I don't know what I'm going to do." She was silent and then finished with, "I just thought you should know."

After Ginny had left, Hermione gave Ginny's odd pronouncement some more thought. If Ginny gave up...could Hermione do what had to be done to save Harry from himself? She had no reason to be selfish...Harry was all she had left of Ron. The Weasleys, Ron's family by blood...they hadn't been there...they just didn't know. They didn't and couldn't understand.

Hermione and Harry had always considered each other to be more like brother and sister, so thinking of them together romantically...on some level it seemed so wrong. But on some level it seemed so very right.

**A/N: The title of _Shattered Light _was suggested by my beta, Boogum (I heart you, Kim!). The more I thought about it, the more I thought it was rather appropriate. This is going to be a darker sort of romance.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"She's frustrated."

"And why couldn't she talk to me?" came Harry's raspy voice. His voice had been permanently damaged during the war. He was sitting, staring at his folded hands in his lap.

Hermione hesitated. Should she tell the truth? "Ever since we came back...you've been behaving differently."

"True love should be able to withstand changes, don't you think?" Harry said, as if to no one in particular. He swivelled his gaze to lock eyes with Hermione. "There's something you're not telling me," he said simply.

Hermione's heart broke. The Harry of old...the Harry Ginny had fallen in love with...he had hated secrets, especially ones kept from him; he had lashed out with temper and fire; he had been a soldier of justice. This Harry? Calm, accepting of secrets...the fire had been extinguished...he had always had secrets to bear, even from Ron and Hermione, but now his secrets coiled black in his heart rather than bursting to make progress.

People always thought of Ginny and Harry as so similar and good for each other...Ginny could relate to Harry because of the possession by Tom Riddle's diary. But it really wasn't the case. Ginny had easily forgiven herself...because she'd been so young, because she'd had her parents and brothers. Harry...? He'd experienced Voldemort's touch more deeply for many more years. Hermione had been by his side for almost every single one of them.

Hermione had given Ginny advice to get the Harry of old because she wanted her best friend to find happiness. She hadn't wanted him to feel left out by her and Ron when they finally got together.

"Yes," she finally answered in a whisper. And a dark silence filled the room and stretched between them...but Hermione knew they were still connected. And she reveled in the darkness.

"Am I going to lose her?" Harry asked with a calm expression and a calm voice but a desolate gaze in his eyes. He was tricking himself, and he knew it, and he knew Hermione knew it. His heart would be ripped in two.

"Maybe," Hermione whispered and then cleared her throat. "If you could try talking to her...?"

"No." But it wasn't a stubborn 'no,' just an unspoken 'I can't.' He couldn't tell Ginny the things that she wanted to know. If he remembered them, the darkness lurking inside him would tear him apart forever. If only Ginny could understand that knowing Harry's secrets would destroy him forever. Maybe she did understand that...and that was why she wasn't sure if she would stay with Harry anymore. Ginny wanted to move forward, but Harry couldn't. He wanted to move forward, and maybe someday he would. But for now he was stuck. And so was Hermione.

888888888888888888888

Hermione was taking her lunch break when she saw Ginny at a café. She was sitting very close to a brown-haired man, laughing at something he had said. In Hermione's opinion, the man was very average...the opposite of Harry. And maybe that was the point. Just then, Ginny impulsively leaned forward and kissed the man on the mouth. The man seemed surprised at first but didn't pull away. Instead he deepened the kiss as he wrapped his arms around her.

Hermione's heart stopped. She knew that Ginny would never cheat on Harry, so this must mean Ginny had made up her mind. Hermione returned to work and informed them she was leaving early. Then she apparated to the edge of the place she knew she would find Harry: Hogwarts.

She walked to the Quidditch Pitch, and there she found Harry sitting in one of the uppermost bleachers. He was hugging his knees to his chest and staring out over the grounds. Ironically, it was a gray and drizzly kind of day. He didn't even look when he heard her approaching; he didn't worry because he knew it was her. Quietly she sat down next to him. For awhile they just sat in silence, just gazing at their place of memories. Memories of budding friendship that deepened, memories of budding love that got cut short.

Finally he turned to look at her, relaxing out of his ball, and said, "I see that you know."

Hesitantly Hermione nodded. "Well," Harry said, "You don't need to worry about me. I'll be fine." His tone was bland and his body language stoic, but Hermione knew that inside he was trying hard not to care, trying desperately to keep the emotions from bursting out.

To let him know this she lightly said, "That's what you always say." And he gazed at her with pure agony in his eyes, knowing she knew the truth. She always knew him best, even if she didn't always know the why. He returned his gaze to the grounds.

After a few more minutes of silence, Hermione's hand slowly reached out and rested on Harry's knee. It seemed like ages since they had touched each other...when she and Harry used to be so effortlessly close. Harry stared at her hand blankly at first and then looked up to stare at her. He had stamped down his emotions, and his expression had returned to being calm and patient. He thought he had nothing left to lose...and so did she. She whispered, "I will always be here for you...I expect nothing from you."

And Harry stared back into her eyes and whispered, "I know." His hand reached to clasp hers on his knee. Then they both just sat and watched in silence, their hands resting entwined on Harry's knee, until the sun had long gone down...just being together, being close, and sharing the silence and the light that seemed to be fading from both of their lives just as surely as it left the sky.

**A/N: This chapter ended up being rather short, so I'm wondering if this is going to be a pretty short story overall. I should be doing a myriad of other things, but I decided to update. See how much I love you guys? Thank you for all of your reviews! It was the most I've ever gotten for one chapter in such a short amount of time. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Warnings: Although this fic is now most definitely AU, this chapter will still contain some references to the seventh Harry Potter book!**

**Chapter Three**

Hermione found him sitting on the porch of Grimmauld Place, staring off into the distance. Somehow Harry's opinion of the place had changed after he had discovered that both Sirius and Regulus had tried so hard to end the Black legacy and his relationship with Kreacher had so drastically improved.

She watched him for awhile before finally speaking, knowing that he knew she was behind him. He always knew... "Harry, something has got to change. You've been like this for weeks." Even before losing Ginny, he'd been bad, but now it was like he'd lost the will to live.

Harry was silent and didn't respond for awhile, but when he finally did, the emotion was apparent even in his raspy voice. "Hermione, I know I never say anything..." Harry didn't finish the sentence, but Hermione knew what it was trying to say: But it hurts. It hurts so much!

Not saying anything Hermione dropped to her knees beside him and picked up his hand, holding it to her heart. She looked deep into Harry's eyes and wordlessly sent across the message: I understand...

And equally, as everything had always happened between them, their lips met in a soft kiss that grew in its desperation and need for something more. It wasn't a kiss of love... it was a kiss just to be close, a kiss to share the pain of love forever lost... a pain they both knew in different ways. They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity before they finally broke apart. Neither of them seemed to be breathing hard or flushed, but their appearances seemed changed nonetheless. Something had come back into Harry's eyes that had been missing for a long time, and if Hermione had seen her own face before and after, something had come back to her own eyes as well...

Wordlessly he clasped her hands, and they maintained eye contact. His eyes said: I can never replace Ron. And her eyes said: I can never replace Ginny. Together they said: But we can speak to the darkness and the pain in each other. All we have left is each other, and nothing can hurt us more.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Hermione sat in the bed, unconcerned with the lingering pain or her still sweaty and clammy appearance. Harry had seen her worse, and they both knew that this time it was because of an adventure of an entirely new kind.

Harry walked over to bassinet and looked down into the sleeping face of his tiny newborn son. Carefully, as though he were holding glass, he picked up the babe and carried it to Hermione. As he settled the child in Hermione's arms, the infant calmly opened his eyes, revealing that they were already the startling emerald green of his father's.

Reaching out to stroke the shock of brown hair atop his son's head, Harry said, "I guess we won't know if it's bushy or messy for awhile."

They smiled at each other over the head of their child. Either way, he was genetically bound to have hair trouble of some sort.

The smile faded from Hermione's face, and she looked back down at the baby. "Did you want to name him James? For your father?"

Harry watched Hermione's face and asked slowly and a little puzzled. "Did you want to?"

After awhile Hermione gave an almost imperceptible shake of her head. Lifting it, she met her husband's eyes. Opening her mouth, she said, "I was hoping we could name him-"

"Ronald," Harry finished the sentence. They smiled at each other once again, the laughter even reaching their eyes.

Harry and Hermione almost never bickered like she and Ron once had, and Hermione wasn't nearly as forward as she had been before the war. The war had only strengthened their already close friendship. It had hardly seemed like a change to increase their physical intimacy to more. They knew each other inside and out, all of their faults and mistakes and weaknesses, and they still loved each other. Ron, however, had always been their light, and his death had cast a shadow over both their lives which no one else could understand or touch.

But now as they sat and smiled at each other over the newly born Ron with the light even reaching their eyes, Harry and Hermione both felt the shadow lift, the shattered light coming together to form a strong beam. Although they might have problems in the future, they could face them healed and armed with love and caring and friendship once more as their shield. The Trio was whole once more.

**A/N: This is the ending I planned all along. I think I had intended to do more along the way, and someone even once suggested more of a plot to me. But I can't find my notes, and I'm not sure if they'll ever resurface or if they've been lost in virtual (or perhaps even paper) space forever. Maybe if I do find them, someday I'll revamp.**


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